A high self-esteem, if not one of the most important traits, is the most important trait in life. Pride and ego are its enemies. Imagine if one person says something offensive like you’re not good, or you’re a bad person, our insides fire up and we get mad and angry automatically. Road rage, sudden snaps in public, complaints about your environment are useless energy unnecessarily spent just because of low self-esteem.
With high-self esteem, you don’t give a f*ck about what people have to say, and with that, you can focus on what you really want to do in life.
So how would you train yourself and boost self-esteem? I feel everyone of us should give attention to this for us to be successful. The following are the things I learned over the years and things I practice to boost my self-esteem:
- Be self-aware. Know yourself. Make an inventory of the things that you can and cannot do. If you dream to be a professional basketball player and you’re too short or not athletic enough, accept it and move on. You can try, but there will come a point that you’ll realize that you are not for it. Just accept it. Once you accept this, you will if a certain skill or job is for you. If you wake up in the morning and do them and feel good about them, then that’s where you put your focus on.
- Practice Integrity. As long as you know that you are doing the right thing, or as long as you do not tolerate your weaknesses and you’re doing something to improve on them, then that will be your force field against attacks on you. Do not tolerate lapses, because if you do, then you should accept those criticisms and not be defensive about it.
- Empathy. Put yourself in other people’s shoes, especially those who criticize you. Keep an open mind. Listen to what they have to say and if you find it sensible, then have the courage to accept them and be thankful. List it down and find ways to improve on them. Just like in product development, products get improved because of user feedback not because of the developer who thought of the features to include in the product. Now if you feel that comments are not true, then don’t get offended and remember item No. 2 above.
- Practice Self-Affirmation. Affirm yourself every day. Remind yourself everyday of your strengths and weaknesses. Those daily habits will build and boost your self-esteem gradually until you get to the point where you feel you are unshakeable.
With high self-esteem, there’s no reason for you to slow down on the things you want to do or goals you want to achieve. You’ll not waste efforts complaining about all things, your environment, your colleagues and your job.
Let go of your ego, be humble. I know it’s hard but it’s the right thing to do.